1/19/06

...And the strike continues ever onward.

In theory, at least, we're here to be teachers. In reality, I wonder if I'll teach again while I'm here- the school year supposedly ends in May (more like April, actually, when most students head out to work in the fields), but I'd be surprised if the situation were resolved by then. The latest I've heard is that the government has just about 48 million FCFA in the national treasury, about $90,000 at the current exchange rate. $90,000 wouldn't pay the salary of one reasonably well-compensated school administrator in the States, and this is what Chad has in its national treasury? With the World Bank having cut off funding to Chad after the government changed the law to hijack the oil revenues, it's hard to see any money arriving soon, which means the strike will continue.

Of course, if the government does go broke, they could turn to the 'royal family' for a bailout. Rumor has it that the president's twenty-something son Brahim has 12 billion FCFA (about $22 million) stashed in his bank account, despite having never worked anywhere. Actually, he did work hard- he was the fastest sperm. If your last name is Deby though, that's all you need. In N'Djamena, you see and feel the president's family (or at least their presence) everywhere. Fleets of new Cadillac Escalades, Lexuses, Land Cruisers and other luxury SUV's, all sporting opaquely tinted windows and no license plates constantly tear through town, with no regard for other traffic, pedestrians, or animals. No Chadian traffic cop who values his job (or possibly even his life) would dare stop them.

Maybe it's simply my cultural perspective, but I can't understand how any group of people could be so hopelessly self-centered that they don't realize their ultra-luxurious fantasy life is destroying the place they claim to lead. With no hope for a decent and uninterrupted education, and the leadership of this place as an example, an entire generation is being raised with the idea that things aren't supposed to work, living in absolute squalor is normal, and the only way to get ahead is to cheat or steal. I have a hard time imagining any other country in a more self-destructive downward spiral than Chad. It won't get better, because there's no possibility for 'regime change' in a "democracy" like this, short of another coup d'état, in which case the cycle begins again, with a new tribe in charge. I feel like I've had such a bitter, jaded tone in these past few journals, but how does one keep a positive attitude as a 'development worker' in a place that seems to be regressing?

I think part of the reason I feel this way must also be the "Groundhog Day-esque" feeling that I keep living the same day, every day here, mostly out of boredom. With the strike, I'm working a total of three hours a week (at the girls' school), so it's easy to get into a rut. I find that I'm doing the same things at the same times every day: breakfast 6:30, lunch 12:00, bucket bath 5:30 PM, dinner 6:00, talk with Marc 7-8:30, bedtime 9:00. I'm not doing this out of some obsessive-compulsive fetish, simply that there isn't anything else to do. Were I to be teaching I'd at least have some sort of mental stimulation, but for the moment, it's hard to come by outside of books and old issues of Newsweek, and it feels like I'm just here, instead of being here with a purpose.

I find myself thinking more and more about my post-Peace Corps life- it's not that I'm especially eager to leave right away, but when there's so little going on, the future seems much more interesting than the present. Of course, I don't have to stay bored, and I can create projects if the strike continues, which I plan to do in any was. It's disturbing though, that the things I want to do on the side: a mural, an English Club, etc, look increasingly as though they'll be things to do in place of my real reason for being here, instead of in addition to it.

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